Marry my son!!!

I don't know what got into the heads of these fathers but 2 of my friend's dad wanted me to either marry their son or become their girlfriend.

Gay Friend

GF: My dad said to me, why don't I marry you? He would be extremely happy if we did. I mean like we're friends. You're the only girl I'm willing to marry. But between the two of us, I'm the one who's going to wear the wedding gown.

ME: Tell your dad that if that happens, if ever we would get married, which I think is uberly utterly super duper mega impossible, the world will crumble to pieces. It's going to be a start of apocalypse. The earth will eat us alive. ....lightning will strike you....

GF: Ok...ok...ok....I get it. It's just a wishful thinking.


Barkada Friend

I kissed my BF's mom goodbye. She was asking me to stay for lunch but I don't want to overstay my welcome.

ME: I have to go. Thank you for letting me stay for the night.

BF: Bye. Thank you for coming over for my birthday (hugs me and gives me a peck on the cheek)

BF's dad: Where's your boyfriend? Someone should take you home.

ME: I just sort of broke up with someone. I don't have a boyfriend.

BF's dad: Why don't you take BF as your boyfriend???? He's free!

BF: Whaaatttt?????

I just smiled and walked away.