Dear Frank,

Still TRYING to convince myself (yes until now, for 1 year and 3 months) that we shouldn't be together....even if you're with someone else now.

It's probably my way of consoling myself that in case we would be together it wouldn't work out...we would just be hurting in the end so might as well not start it.

The truth is I know I can be so madly in love with you and can be soooo depressingly hurt if in case it wouldn't work out. It's a gamble between being immensely happy and clinical depression.

I'm ok where I'm at. I'm fine...just satisfied with my current life right now. Neither happy nor sad. Just too coward to gamble....

However, pleading...hoping that you would take the first step in taking the risk...

...wishful thinking.