DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED

created: 9-12-2003

My comments on the "DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED." article

May punto rin si Lory (pero akin na lang yun hehehe, di ko rin maalala kung ano yun...bwahahaha) kasi may tendency ang girls na mag-create ng parang isang illusion or idea na kesyo ganito at ganyan ang mga lalake nila na hindi sila lolokohin coz most of the time we (girls) are blinded by our strong feelings towards the guy that we often don’t see the real situation…but can u blame us for having that kind of mentality??? Girls are ruled more by their feelings, emotions and love and guys…well they are ruled more by their wobbling shaft (hahahaha footnote ko si red:D)am I being too sexist here??? Pero sa totoo lang…we (boys and gals) are ruled by both the brains and emotions (after all emotion ay nanggagaling sa limbic system, which is part of the brain) girls are just more vocal about their lives while men aren’t…pero I’ll base my comments on my experiences with guys na lang…parang ang dami daw eh no?! tsaros! :D

I asked a guy friend…

“truthfully, if ever a guy was dating a perfect girl, minsan na iisip nya shet, if i can get a girl like this in so and so months or years, how much pa kaya kung mas madali na girl.. siguro less time and effort.” - which I find rather unfair to the girls but truthfully rin…he has a point…would it really matter or is it really important in a relationship if a guy had you for a year or for a few seconds??? Would the relationship be less special if you two hit it in just a few seconds??? Admit it girls, we always believe that if a guy is making great efforts in winning our hearts it would mean automatically that their love is great…but somewhere down the road, despite these we always find them wandering for greener (or browner??? Hahaha) pastures. I’m not saying they’re looking for girls that are better than us but they just want to look. Parang tayo, even if we’re with our boyfriends gumagala pa rin ang ating mga mata kung saan saan. The difference is tayo hanggang tingin lang pero guys pag nakakuha ng motivation or signal from other girls they grab the opportunity. Ego booster eh…that’s why girls are stronger than guys :D

eto pa ang sinabi ng friend ko

“usually the victim is always someone who is going through a bad or has gone through a bad relationship....”

Ang sama eh no…the victim…pa-victim…pa-victim (shoulder movements, lifted from the movie Till there was you…grabe gwapo ni papa piolo!!!) hrrrmmm anyway…the victim…the girls are the victim because they went through real hard times with the guys they’re with or they have been with…wow talk about the reason why a certain guy asked u out!!! Ang sama no?! Us girls (or wemen hehehe) would see it as kasamaan kasi taking advantage eh..kung kelan vulnerable yung girl saka ka liligawan syempre malaki ang chances na sagutin nila yung guy dahil aside from these guys are giving them the attention they need ang labas eh “a night in shining armor” pa sila di ba?! I do not find respect in that really…hitting a girl while she’s vulnerable…but can u blame guys for their weaknesses??? There’s the opportunity so they’ll just grab it and prove to these (poor or stupid, whichever u prefer) girls that they’re the man that would satisfy all their needs and fill the emptiness they’re feeling in their hearts. (Ulk! So classic!) They’ll make us believe that they’re THE ONE then when all is settled at nandun ka na ulit sa bubble of security mo and your heart is deeply submersed in the idea that this guy is THE ONE…they’ll burst your bubble and gigising ka na lang isang araw na meron na naman siyang iba…kasi meron na naman syang nahanap na bagong “damsel in distress”….the-night-in-shining-armor-damsel-in-distress syndrome…and it goes on and on and on and on…well for some who’d like to make their little fairy tales a reality…it would stop in “thanks for being there but I need time to be with myself”…that goes for both…men and wemen.

Di naman kami nagaway…I respect his opinions. Kahit naman sino mapalalaki man o mapababae after every relationship should have a breathing time…time to be alone with the self and recollect the past experiences para hindi na maulit yung mga maling nagawa otherwise magiging cycle yun…teka napapalayo na ako sa topic…

Hindi lang naman din guys ang gumagawa nung nangyayari sa article. I’m not defending their side but I’m becoming aware that more and more girls are getting practical about their relationships but mainly in reaction to the guys mentality/attitude (I can have as many women as I want). The same goes for girls…

I can have many guys as I want because I know I can (talk about girl power!)

I know a lot of girls who do it with guys and not give a damn whether they’ll see each other again or whether they’re gonna call them or not. So what if he doesn’t see me afterwards…so what if he doesn’t call me…I should be more worried about other important things than worrying whether if there’s a possibility of him having feelings towards me etc. My world doesn’t (and should not) stop there.

Dating or girl/boyfriend stage should be fun and it’s a time to get to know each other well. Basta maging clear lang SANA kung ano ang gustong mangyari dun sa relationship. Kung ayaw na…bagama’t masakit sabihin dapat nang hindi patuloy na umaasa ang mga girls. Same goes for girls…kung play…play lang (kung kaya mong ihandle) pero kung seryoso ibang usapan na yun.

But I guess it goes with age na rin…pero ibang usapan na kung 40 ka na at ganun ka pa rin eh puta magisip isip ka na nga talaga di ba?!! kung ano ang gusto mong gawin sa buhay mo…napamura tuloy ako hahaha! Dami ko pa sasabihin sana kaya lang tinamad na ang daliri ko…next time ulit.



The article:


Last week we threw a bachelor party for one of our good friends and then on Saturday afternoon we stood beside him in our tuxes while he and his fiance said their vows. As I stood up there looking across the crowd, I decided that our next topic on this page would definitely talk about marriage. I also realized that alot of women may not want to hear the truth about men and marriage because the truth is so simple that they could not accept it without questioning their own
relationship.

But I am here to tell you - DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT
COMPLICATED.

The sad thing about it is that it took a woman to bring it to my attention. I had a close friend of mine tell me that she was pursuing a stable man with a girlfriend. When I asked her did she feel wrong about that she said "Shyt, a girlfriend ain't nothing - girlfriends come and go. If the man is established and he isn't either married or engaged, then he is not that serious about her and he is fair game" I thought about this for a minute and came to a cold conclusion: IF A MAN IS STABLE IN LIFE AND HE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP AND NOT MARRIED, THEN IT IS BECAUSE HE IS NOT SURE ABOUT THE WOMAN THAT HE IS WITH.

He is not willing to commit to her and constantly has his eye open for something better or is waiting for her to become something better. Point blank. When he finds a woman that he is satisfied with, he will make her his wife.

And ladies, sorry to tell some of you, but it doesn't take 4 or 5 years for that man to figure it out. It doesn't take 2 or 3 years either. The only reason that a man will get married after that long of
a time is because he's tired of looking for something better. And trust me, that's definitely what he was doing all of those years.

So if you should happen to find yourself in one of those "long term" relationships then maybe you should step back, take a look at yourself and wonder what it is that you're missing that this man is not willing to fully commit. Don't make excuses to yourself and your girlfriends saying things like "Oh he's waiting til he gets a better job" or "he's waiting to finish school" or "he's waiting until he moves from his apartment to a house". DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED. Which one of those things can't be done with a wife or fiance by your side?

So ladies, when you read this think about your situation and that man that you are living with. Or the one that you spend many nights over his house or him over yours. Think about your baby's father that you are still in a sexual relationship with. Think about your "ex" that you are in a sexual relationship with. Think about your "boyfriend". And definitely think twice before you brag on a
relationship that's a couple of years long and you still have no commitment.

Like I've said before, I'm a man and I know the situation. I've been there and I know that we can come up with some extremely reasonable excuses, but.....DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED.

Nothing is sadder than the death of an illusion...

It is still best to wait for the one we want rather than settle for the one that is available. It is still best to wait for the one you love than settle for the one who is around. It is still best to wait for the right person. Because life is too short to waste on the wrong one・

- author unknown