How should we live? 18 rules of living by the Dalai Lama

There are moments when you think about yourself and the things that you have accomplished in the past years, your experiences, the mistakes you make again and again and those what could have been's.

I try to reflect, usually on my birthday or during holy week, the meaning of life for me. I always question my purpose on this earth. Am I here just to work 9-10 hours for 5-6 days a week for the rest of my life? Do I only just hang out with my family or friends, watch a movie, cook, exercise after work, travel from time to time and meet with people of different nationalities and cultural background?

My life is definitely not boring but there are time that it is and during those boring moments I find myself asking "Is there more to life than what I have right now?" and "Can my life get any better than this?".

Given that I perform benchmarking for companies on salaries and best practices, I thought why not benchmark my life with something....like a standard or a guide and see if I am truly living.

And so I found this 18 Rules for Living by the Dalai Lama:

Basically, the rules revolve around these 3 fundamental rules:

• Respect for self
• Respect for others
• Responsibility for all your actions

It's much like the 2 commandments of Jesus in the New Testament book - a summary of the 10 commandments by God given to Moses in Mt. Sinai. But I find the 18 rules more "friendly"...it doesn't have scary command like that of the 10 Commandments:

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three R’s
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you have made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge, it’s a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year go someplace you have never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Now, to compare my life with the rules above:

1. Check! I have risked to love someone and ended up losing that person and cried for almost a decade. For non-relationship matters, I took a risk but I haven't seen the fruits of that risk...yet
2. The problem with this one is I have a tendency to forget. I'm forgetful. Just like the entire Filipino nation when they forgot what this politician did to the country during election time. People still vote for the wrong persons. But for other matters, I'm sure I've learned my lessons.
3. Hard to do this really. Especially when you have so much annoyance over a person. It's a work in progress
4. True! The reason it didn't happen is because there is something better that's going to come along.
5. I cannot relate yet.
6. Little disputes are manageable and I think it's healthy or normal for friends to have that but a big dispute like when your friend betrays you that means F.O.
7. Check! I do apologize and say sorry (in my own way) for mistakes made to another person and most of the time I provide countermeasures to prevent things from getting worse.
8. I do. Especially when I'm in the bathroom....just kidding. But I do this, not regularly though. I either just stay inside my room or go to a chapel for a few minutes of alone time with God.
9. I opened my arms to change and it changed me...a lot (as compared to when I was in high school). I guess when you change it is inevitable that some of your values and principles will change...your outlook in life changes and that gives you a realization of what values and principles you would really uphold and are unbreakable.
10. I agree to this. And I find myself doing this especially when I'm angry, because hurtful words can also cause wounds...to the heart. And I find myself carefully choosing my words before saying it. Because sometimes I say a lot of things out of anger.
11. Trying. Hard.
12. I think I have a loving atmosphere at home. It may not always be perfect and I may not always be quiet when I see something wrong but I am glad the channels of communication are always open. My parents are able to create a safe and loving atmosphere that we never felt insecure.
13. Check. Anyways, I wouldn't remember about the past anyways.
14. A work in progress!
15. I have a plant that I use to decorate my bathroom. I always talk to her and when I think she's getting too crowded in her pot, I asked my aunt to transfer her to a bigger pot so she could grow bigger. I refuse plastic especially if I have only one item. I use a pail when taking a bath so I wouldn't be wasting too much water. I reuse and recycle stuff.
16. I think I've been doing this since 2009. In 2009, I went to Jamul, Escondido in the US and Mexicali in Mexico, I went to Roxas City in Capiz (I know I've been here before, but I felt like it's my first time), I went to Subic beach with a friend. In 2010, it's my first time to go to Seoul, South Korea, Macau, and a part of Guimaras island. In 2011, Chiang Mai Thailand, Sorsogon (for the whale shark interaction), and Batanes. In 2012, I went to Singapore, and Boracay. And in 2013, I went to Puerto Galera, Talim Island (for the solar power for fish farming project), and coming soon to Bangkok, Thailand and Siem Reap, Cambodia
17. I have yet to find out.
18. Work in progress.

Given the items above, seems I have work cut out for myself. Like what my friend told me, "as long as we are living, we still have hope". I still have hope to really "make a living"!